Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
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there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
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He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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