he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
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