Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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