She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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