I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so let's talk penis.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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