So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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