I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
