butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
