he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
