It's Friday. Sex?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
