Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
