that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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