Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.

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(315): View more from New York

you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.

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(+48): View more from Poland

there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover

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(719): View more from Colorado

I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.

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(801): View more from Utah

Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college

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(707): View more from California

They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.

(705): View more from Ontario

I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.

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(718): View more from New York

He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.

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(850): View more from Florida

A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now

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