so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
