we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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