I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
