Kareoke will never be a sober sport
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
