Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dude i'm inner monologue high
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize