it wasn't lemon gatorade
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
