wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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