ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
