I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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