i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
