I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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