I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
