I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
why do cheetos always look like penises
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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