So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
