I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Two words: blizzard sex
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
