Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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