the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
