Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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