I want to have your abortion
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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