My nipple is on Facebook.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
