I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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