So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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