you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
