no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
