do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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