is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
