How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
