In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
