I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
