So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
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He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
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I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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