well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
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Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
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I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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