after a month anything with tits is on the radar
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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