My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
