he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My ass is underappreciated
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
