You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
