Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
