I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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