So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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