It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
