Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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