im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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