For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
