you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
