My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
