Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize