"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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