dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
