I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i think my mom watched the whole time
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
