You're a womanizer and a bitch.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
