I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
