so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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