The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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