It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
